Everything a Stoner Needs to Know About Pre-Rolls
Published on June 15, 2022
The 2020s are full of all kinds of things Mama would rather not talk about, but on the bright side, they’re also full of things Mama loves: choice, variety, bananas, and all kinds of personalized options. Even better, that breadth of choice goes doubly for smoking weed. Or eating weed, or drinking weed, or vaping weed – which is kinda the point, here.
Among all the edibles, vapes, tinctures, and lotions, pre-rolls are just one option for consuming cannabis these days. Basically, the pre-roll is a pre-packaged joint that someone has already rolled for you before selling it to you at the dispensary. But even in this singular weed-smoking category, you have tons and tons of sub-types and options to choose from. And Mama likes that.
Pre-Rolls: The Basics
The joint – a rolled marijuana cigarette, in case you need a refresher or you’re new to all this – is an icon of canna-culture, and easily the most recognizable way to use weed. You can still roll joints and plenty of people do. All you need is about a half gram or a gram of ground-up weed, rolling paper, and an optional filter. Alternatively – maybe if you like convenience or you’re not an extra in Rebel Without a Cause – you can get a pre-roll.
When a dispensary, retailer, cultivator, producer, or otherwise any other officialized cannabis-selling group pre-rolls weed into a ready-made joint (and usually packages it all pretty) for sale, that’s a pre-roll. Most have filters, some don’t. You can get ‘em individually, or you can get ‘em in multi-packs. And there are many, many, oh-so-many varieties. We’ll get into that later.
It’s like when Mama makes PB n’ J sammies for you. You can do it yourself, but it tastes better when someone else makes it.
So Why Pre-Rolls?
Well, first there’s that variety thing, then there’s that convenience thing. Pre-rolls are not only an easier proposition than rolling your own joints, they get you high faster and offer an easily shareable, super sociable solution. Plus, they’re pretty inexpensive compared to other options for getting high. And if you love the green jungles like Mama does, it feels good to know that lots of ‘em come in eco-friendly, recycled, or recyclable packaging.
Also, now’s a really damn good time for pre-rolls. Not only can you get any strain, size, flavor, potency, or style you want, we’re living in a quality renaissance, baby. Used to be that pre-rolls were full of shake, stems, and other plant part filler that had less to do with getting you high and more to do with saving rich people money. But with increased competition and more canna-educated customers than ever (Mama’s proud of you), quality has come up while prices have gone down.
Know Your Roll
There are many colors of the pre-roll weed rainbow. Probably more colors than there are in an actual rainbow. Wait, Mama just Googled it and there are definitely way more types of pre-rolls than colors in the rainbow:
- The doobie or just standard variety pre-roll is what your dad calls a joint, and it’s pretty much the classic in pre-roll form. It usually packs up to1.5 grams of weed rolled up twisty-like in hemp or rice paper.
- Dog walkers or mini products (more on those later) are like regular pre-rolls, but usually contain around .75 grams or less.
- You can probably guess what a king-sized pre-roll is (please tell me you can, my sweet summer child). It’s a pre-roll, but big. Usually up to 1.75 grams, and often with a wide filter for big ol’ hits and a funneled shape to get more weed in there. Cones fall into this – they’re wider at the tip than the mouthpiece because they pack in a lot of weed.
- Imagine, if you will, a cigarette but it’s weed instead of tobacco. That, my sweet peas, is a cannabis cigarette. These are like tobacco cigs in size, shape, and smoothness, come with a filter, and usually sell in packs of five to a dozen.
- Cannagars, a.k.a. Thai sticks are like if a pre-roll and a cigar had a beautiful baby. These monsters pack 4-to-8 grams of cannabis in the size and shape of a stogie. They’re meant to be shared or to last you a lot longer than a single sesh (please — Mama doesn’t want to see you green out).
- There’s some overlap in the definition of blunts and cannagars, cuz there’s no official rule book on this stuff. Pre-legalization, a blunt usually meant a hollowed-out cigar paper filled with weed. Nowadays, with off-the-shelf pre-rolls, it probably just means it’s rolled in hemp leaf papers, or is bigger than the average bear.
- Unlike blunts, the meaning of spliff hasn’t really changed much since Mama was young. Young-er! This is just a pre-roll or joint that has tobacco mixed in with the marijuana.
- Infused pre-rolls usually contain some sort of cannabis oil, rosin, or distillate in addition to the flower – they may even be rolled in powdered cannabis isolate on top of that. Some infused pre-rolls also feature kief, the tiny trichomes that cover the surface of cannabis plants, in a concentrated powder form (not to be confused with Keith, he’s your uncle and he owes me money).
Now keep in mind that these are just some of the physical styles of pre-rolls. You’ll get waaaaaaaay more variety in the mix when you take into account that pre-rolls feature all kinds of different strains – from clear-eyed sativas to mellow indicas to balanced hybrids and beyond – but that’s a whole other story. If you’re just dipping your toes in, ask your budtender to guide you through the weeds of weed strains, just to start with.
Mama’s Own Prerolls
Mama loves making you two things: banana bread and those good good Mary Jane products. Just because Mama wants to see you happy, we’ve got:
- Tough Mama’s Infused Hemp Cone Blunts. Hey, now you know what all those words mean! These come in euphoric citrusy sativa, relaxing flowery, diesel-y indica, and grassy, just-right hybrid varieties. They’ve got a gram of weed, plus 0.25 grams of Live Resin infused directly into the hemp cone. That oil infusion and hemp cone combo make for an even, balanced burn (but you may need some friends to help you finish).
- Tough Mama’s Mini Mofoz. Mama almost named you Mini Mofo, but decided on these blunts instead. They come in the same strain options as the big boys, but at .85 grams, they’re adorable mini-cone blunts infused with cured resin and made with Hi-Phi, solventless extraction, so they’ll still knock your ass over. Plus, they come in 4-packs that encourage sharing, though Mama won’t judge you for bogarting.
Just like Tough Mama’s tough love, none of these pre-rolls f*** around one little bit. But you know what? You deserve to let Mama roll one for you after this hardcore education session – and yes, Mama does have a light.