When you were a weird little sticky-fingered, cabbage-scented kid, Tough Mama taught you all kinds of essential etiquette, like always say “please,” be as punctual as you can, tip your servers 20% and don’t fart at the dinner table (except on Christmas).
But now that you’re all grown up and those fingers are sticky with Tangie trichomes instead of lemon Starbursts, it’s time Mama taught you the social rules that really matter in life: weed etiquette to live by, whether you’re on the streets or in ~high~ society. Here are 15 rules to know.
Thou Shalt Not Bogart
Sharing is caring, and when someone shares their big-ass cone blunt with you, that means they care. Show your appreciation by making sure there’s plenty of smoke to go around for everyone. On the flip side, expect to share and offer freely if you’re in a group setting and packing plentiful heat.
It Always Goes Left (Till It Doesn’t)
Mama has no idea where this one comes from, but it’s one of the most basic stoner rules out there and it’s been around since even before there were gorillas. When you’re passing a joint (or vape or hot dog-shaped novelty pipe or whatever you freaks do), it always goes to the left. It just does.
HOWEVER, allow Mama to drop some advanced weed etiquette on you. Once you go through the first round – like the joint or bowl is cashed – you start a new rotation if there’s a second round, so it now goes to the right. And thus the universe is in balance.
Buyer Goes First
If you’re in a group smoking situation, proper weed etiquette dictates that the person who purchased the weed goes first, whether that’s the first toke of a joint, hit of the bong, dab off the rig, bite of the “special” brownie, or sip of Yolo Shotz.
Be the Windbreaker
A stoner rule for truly seasoned stoners: be your bud’s windbreaker. If they’re trying to light up in a breeze, you smoothly step in and provide a barrier. Bonus: do it all nonchalant and Daniel Craig-like and you’ll also look extremely cool.
Mama always says consent is key, and that’s true in the world of weed etiquette, too. Ask permission before you light up in someone’s house, car, dorm, pool, man cave, she shed, what the f**k ever, you get the idea. Not your house? Ask.
…and Don’t Assume!
This one’s a two-part stoner rule. Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, don’t just assume someone’s a stoner or not a stoner. Yeah, weed’s really popular now. So is Dungeons and Dragons, but you don’t assume everyone you meet is a wizard. Just ask politely if they partake and don’t make a big deal out of it.
Remember how Mama just said “sharing is caring?” Look, not everyone has the guidance of a matronly monkey, so not everyone is savvy enough to pack aromatic Chemistry Cookies indica vape carts every time. Sometimes, your friends share what they have, and what they have is a touch skunky.
Times are tough. It’s the thought that counts, so don’t complain, and don’t be a dick.
If you’re sharing your stash or partaking in someone else’s generosity, offer some nice, hydrating bevvies whenever you get the chance. Hydration is always important, but it’s extra important – and extra appreciated – when cottonmouth is a thing.
Puff, Puff, Pass (Usually)
OK, last one of the group smoking stoner rules, but this shit’s important. If you’re hitting a joint, “puff, puff, pass” is the golden rule, meaning it’s OK to take one or two hits. That rule changes if you’re sharing a bong, vape, or pipe, in which case you’re looking at a one-hit situation. Remember: don’t bogart, or it gets the hose again!
Cash It Out
When whatever you’re hitting is cashed, it’s OK to take just one hit to make sure that it is indeed cashed. Once you know it’s dunzo, it’s your civic duty to let the supplier know that it’s done cashed – don’t pass a cashed bowl on to the next person.
Educate the Masses
This is newer weed etiquette for an old head like Mama, but the reality is that as ganja becomes more mainstream, stoners are getting more educated, more conscious of what goes into their bodies and way savvier in general. People are more likely to know the difference between an indica and sativa nowadays, so let the group know what they’re smoking when you share.
Corner the Bowl
Finally, it’s time to stop pretending you know what this means and let Mama tell you what it actually means. When you’re smoking a bowl, cornering is the practice of lighting the flower from the side so as to conserve it for a longer smoker. This goes for relighting the bud, too. (And um, if you’re unsure about what the hell we’ve been talking about in general, you may need to consult our Stoner Dictionary.)
Don’t Hit Sick
C’mon now, you lived through 2020, right? If you’re feeling under the weather, know you’re under the weather, or even suspect it at all, it’s time to politely pass on sharing smoke with others. Keep that shit to yourself, no one wants your germs. Mama taught you better than that.
If your gracious stoner buds smoke you out, karmic stoner rules say that you should smoke them out down the line, too. Mama also says you should, because it’s the right thing to do and that kind of “I got you, bro” mentality is what makes the cannabis community such a great place to be.
And when it’s your turn to provide some bountiful, hard-hitting green, Tough Mama knows just where you can find it.