Mama might look like an ape (a ridiculously cool and good-looking ape), but that doesn’t mean she still has to live like she’s back in the jungle. Today Mama is going to share the secrets of how to buy weed online, and how you can get whatever your little heart desires without leaving the comfort of your home.
So, if you want weed without having to step outside, you’ve come to the right place. Mama is going to be talking specifically about California, but other states are also getting with the times, so if you’re somewhere else, feel free to check out your local laws.
What Are California’s Requirements?
Luckily, ordering weed online in California is legal and easy. Mama wants everyone to enjoy her lovingly made products without leaving their couch, but before you hit “order,” here are some things you should know.
For Those 21 and Older
If you’re 21 or older, congratulations, you’ve met California’s requirement for ordering weed online. Yup, it really is that simple. There are some more steps you’ll have to follow, but Mama has that covered a little later down below.
For Those Under 21
If you’re under 21 and want to order weed online, your best option is to wait…roughly however many years between now and your 21st birthday. The ONE potential exception is if you’re 18 or older and have a valid medical cannabis card, but most recreational dispensaries still won’t sell or deliver to anyone under 21 due to recreational dispensary rules. That means that while you can get weed from a medical dispensary, you’re delivery options are likely limited.
Do I Have to Live in California?
Nope. You just have to currently be in California. Anyone with a valid I.D. (including passports, if you’re international), can order. In fact, you can even order to a hotel if you’re just visiting for a bit.
Side note: if you are staying in a hotel, be sure to follow their smoking rules. Mama might technically be an animal, but it doesn’t mean you always have to act like one. There’s a time and place for everything!
Mama’s Online Order Checklist
Mama likes staying home (you can’t imagine how hard it is being a gorilla in public these days). Because of that, Mama knows a thing or two about what you need to have ready when it comes to ordering weed. Here’s a little checklist of things you’ll usually need to be ready with so you can stay away from the unknown that is going into public on any given day, and have some sweet sweet bud brought straight to your door.
- Have your I.D. ready. Most places will not only require you to upload your I.D. before placing your order, but you must also show the delivery person your I.D. when they get to your door. That means, 1. Yes, you have to be home and interact with one person, and 2. Whoever orders the weed must be the one to accept the delivery. Thems the rules.
- Have some cold hard cash ready. Mama knows paper money covered in the germs of every man to not wash his hands after wiping his ass is not the ideal way to pay anymore, but sometimes it’s still required. You’ll obviously have to pay attention depending on where you’re ordering from but be prepared to have some dolla dolla bills ready.
- Known the local limits. If you’re aiming to go full-on online cannabis catering last minute, just know you might run into some barriers. Per California law, the most weed you can purchase in a day is 28.3 grams of flower (1 ounce) or 8 grams of cannabis concentrate. Want to know how high you can get on that supply? Mama’s guide to weed measurements has you covered.
What Can I Order?
When it comes to what you can order when it comes to weed, it’s Willy Wonka’s freakin chocolate factory (minus all the OSHA violations and creepy dudes singing bangers when children almost die). As long as you’re within the legal limits of what you can order (trust us, it’s enough to get you where you want to go), you can order pretty much anything.
And the list goes on.
Ways to Order
This part can seem overwhelming, but Mama promises it’s all copacetic. When it comes to ordering weed online in California, there’s straight-up a near-infinite number of options. Who doesn’t love choices? That being said, there are certain things you’ll want to look for when ordering.
The UberEats Method
If you want weed, and you want it now, you’re most likely going to want to find a trusted third-party online weed delivery service. Think of it like the UberEats or Postmates of weed. You find a place that has what you’re looking for, you order it, and somebody hopefully shows up in an acceptable amount of time with the right stuff. Your options will differ depending on where in California you are, so just make sure wherever you’re ordering from is reliable and legit.
The Direct From Source Method
If you’re after a specific product that’s unavailable near you, and you just gotta have it, you’re best bet is to see if the company you want does deliveries. Yes, Tough Mama does deliver, because the people need what the people need. For this, you’ll go straight to the website and order whatever you’re looking for from there. And not to be one-upped by Amazon Prime delivery, Tough Mama makes sure your order will show up at your door the next day. Fear not, you want it, you got it!
The Direct from Dispensary Method
Another way to order is a bit of a hybrid between the two we just covered. Some dispensaries manage their own deliveries, so you can even check to see if you can order straight from a dispensary near you. If you know your favorite dispensary has your favorite stuff, might as well go straight through them!
This can also help with finding and ordering the products you want for same-day delivery. If, for example, you know you want some Tough Mama products, you can find a “Where to Buy” page on the website, which will help you find a dispensary near you that has what you want. Then you just make sure they deliver, and bam, it’s like Mama is there holding you in her warm, furry arms that very same day.
Mama gets her fruits and veggies delivered every week, and low and behold, you can now do that with weed. What a time to be alive. If you’ve ever done a subscription box service before, you’ll know exactly what Mama’s talking about. For those that haven’t fully succumbed to every modern-day luxury (yet), subscription boxes can come in a couple of different ways. Since we’re talking online weed delivery, the boxes you can expect will usually be one of two options:
- Mystery Box. Based on some personal preferences you give, a box full of mystery goodies will be delivered to you on a recurring basis, depending on how often you want a box to show up (usually weekly or bi-monthly).
- Self-Curated Box. If mystery isn’t your thing, there are also subscription services that have a semi-consistent rotation of products that you can choose from for each delivery. This way you can always get your favorites, but also get adventurous whenever you feel like it.
The future is now, and that means the best weed, straight to your door, whenever you want it. Mama knows there are lots of good options, but just know Mama is always here to treat you right. So, feel free to order anything that catches your eye straight from the website, or check out the Where to Buy page to see who is stocked up on Tough Mama near you!