by Cyrus Grant
Names are how we make ourselves distinguishable from others. They’re how you can go to the store and pick out some Tough Mama weed and know you got some good shit. They’re also just fun to give out to random things around the house. Whether you’re naming a baby, a pet, a plant, a bong, a boat, or whatever the hell you feel like, these are the perfect stoner names.
Weed and Slang Inspired Names
- MaryJane – An obvious classic. If it’s good enough for Spider-Man’s love interest, it’s good enough for your daughter…or bong…or whatever.
- Reefer – Reefer? I barely know ‘er. Okay, but for real, a great stoner name.
- Bud – Might seem generic to some crowds, but those who love bud will love Bud.
- Flower – You’ll have some plausible hippie deniability with this one, but between us, we know which flower you’re talking about.
- Doobie – It sounds cute and is weed related. Not really any more that needs to be said.
- Herb – Who knew an old-man name was actually just a subtle stoner name?
- Blaze – Maybe douchey, maybe awesome, definitely a stoner.
- Green – Not all names have to be creative. If you like smoking green, make it a name.
- Indica – For any laid-back and mellow person, pet, or item you’re trying to name.
- Sativa – A perfect name for the more energetic and uplifting people/things in your life.
- Kief – Sounds like a normal(ish) name, but it’s the precious little trichome powder slowly collecting at the bottom of your grinder.
- Ganja – You’re not fooling anyone with this name, but it’s honestly beautiful.
Celebrity Inspired Names
- Spicoli – After the infamous Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Pick this name for whatever needs some laid-back surf stoner vibes.
- Bob – Anything Marley related is going to be auto-associated with weed. Bob is subtle, but between Marley, Dylan, and Ross, Bob is a certified stoner name.
- Ziggy – You could honestly pick any of Bob’s kids’ names, but Ziggy just feels more stoner-y than the rest.
- Cheech and Chong – Twins, cats, your two favorite smoking pieces. They are the perfect stoner names for anything that comes in pairs.
- Snoop – After the one and only D-O-Double G, Snoop is a stoner icon, which makes his name a solid stoner name to choose for anything.
- Willie – After yet another stoner legend, Willie Nelson, this is another name that can pass as a more subtle stoner name.
- Scooby and Shaggy – For any duo that is destined to love Scooby Snacks. Or any snack, really.
- Ricky Williams – Anyone who puts up crazy numbers in a professional sport and also drops the quote, “I got high, and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high” deserves to have someone or something named after them.
- Janis – While male celebrities might dominate the famous stoner lists, Janis Joplin is more than worthy of being considered when it comes to giving out stoner names.
- Puff – You’re allowed to be a bit of a Bogart in the circle if your name is literally “Puff.”
- Smokey – Smokey the Bear wants you to prevent forest fires. But with a name like Smokey, there’s no way you don’t burn something. Save the forests, burn some weed.
- Wiz – A modern-day marijuana icon, Wiz Khalifa
- Herodotus – Super deep cut, Herodotus was an ancient Greek philosopher who was writing about getting high back in 440 B.C..
Boat Themed Names (‘cuz boats need good stoner names too)
- Sea Weed – Get it? Seaweed, Sea WEED? Yeah, you get it.
- WeedyMcWeedFace – Everybody loves BoatyMcBoatFace. So, why not give it a nice weed-themed spin?
- High Seas – Fun fact, the high seas are any saltwater that isn’t within a territory or state. Alternatively, it’s anytime you’re high on a boat.
- Bong Water – Can you put ocean water in a bong? Probably, yeah.
- Wake ‘n Bake – What do you call the little waves a boat makes? A wake. What do you do when you wake up? Bake. Run with the idea.
Now get out there and give your baby/pet/plant/boat/literally anything you want, a great stoner name. And next time you’re in the dispensary or online looking for high-quality weed that doesn’t mess around, look for the name Tough Mama.